___ hate in love ___

i’m trying to make my own words with english, but i don’t know how it takes. If my word was false, i’m terribly sorry.

(cerita ini cuman fiktif. Gue terlalu sering nulis tentang kehidupan sehari-hari gue dan kini gue belajar berimajinasi menjadi orang lain dan membuat cerita orang tersebut)

Can you hear me? How can i stop this feelings on you, i’m counting on it. On the day that i passed with you. On the night when i miss you. I don’t wanna have this feelings on you.

One day, i walking with you. yes, i don’t have that feelings yet. We were walking, talking, smilling, and seems like another person we were joking. I don’t afraid when i meet you, but when you say “do you want walking with me?”. My heart say “NO” but my mouth said “oh yeah, of course i want”. I don’t know why my mouth say it. i don’t even wanna say it but well, I SAID IT. “hey, how was your class?” she ask me. “no big deals, just too much homework as always” i said. “wow, too bad. Haha” she laughing to me. I love her smile, when she smile she looks preety cute. “yeah, i hate it. I have english lesson this afternoon when i still have to doing my homework.” I said it loud. “whoah, when your time started?” she ask me. “at 7 P.M” answer me. My school day end at 3 P.M, i have to walking until 20 minute to take a bus from hallway. Sometimes i had chasing my bus so i can go home early. I always arrive on home at 5 P.M and i’m in my 2nd years of my senior high school. When i arrive at home i always be in my bed first. I’m sleeping when i arrive, sometimes i eating first then sleeps. I used to be wake up in 6 P.M take a bath at those time and pray, preappearing book then go to the english class. Yeah my schedule seems like little crowded but i’m happy. I can’t understand girl’s feeling so i don’t have any love’s thing with somebody. i also thinking if love was too much take a time with girls than with ‘real time’. When you feels love with someone and you can’t reach that one you will feel so lost “where can i go now? what i supossed to do? How was your feelings about him/her? Did you really feel what i feel?” that is all crazy mumble in my head and i hate it. When i feeling too many crush with someone i always thingkin that i should never be falling in love with you at that time.

i’m not hate ‘love thing’ i hate when i fall in love with someone. In love was the most beautiul feeling, but crush the love is the most damn thing. You know, when you’re in my age you always says “oh love is great, love is dream, love is flower, love is dust, love is hurt and blablabla” but i just say one word “fall in love is the most hurt feeling when you can’t have somebody to love”.

I always thinking that i don’t feel in love with you, but when somebody yellin “awww,, you and him must be fall in love” i don’t feeling anything but anger. I dreamed that someday i will have you by my side but the day was never come as my feeling with you come.

november 21st 2011, i have math lesson. Math is my exschool in senior high school i’m a genius math in my class. Bio,Physic, chemical, history, geograph, and english was my best studies Especialy english, bio, and chemical. I ever have a girlfriend, she is beautiful, she is cute, she is independent. In the night before i go to sleep she always texting “i love you. i don’t know why, but i want to be your forever. i always be with you, i don’t want to leave you. i love you more and more as day passed. Goodnight honey” sometimes se called me “prince, king, my world” i know that’s freak to you but well, i like it.